6 Signs He’s Never Getting Serious With You

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6 Signs He's Never Getting Serious With You

So you’ve been dating “Tyler” for a year now: he’s witty, charming, gentle, and completely gets your sense of humor like no other guy before. But as much as you love that he’s easy-going, maybe he’s a little too laid-back…after all, he just can’t seem to take your relationship seriously, as wonderful as he makes you feel.

It can be incredibly frustrating to find the (seemingly) perfect guy who, despite your every effort, simply won’t settle down. Perhaps he’s a little scared or slow to warm up – but at a certain point, it’s no longer worth the exertion to be with someone who’s only half as invested as you are. Here’s how to know it’s time to cut your losses:

1. He hasn’t said the “L” word.

You’re in love with Tyler(your fuck buddy) and he knows it. Twelve months is a long time, and he should know if he feels the same way by that point. Maybe he’s sensing an emptiness where butterflies should be and just isn’t telling you. Either way, if he has yet to return the Feeling of All Feelings after more than a year, it’s time to let him go.

2. He won’t entertain the idea of marriage.

You’re not pushing him to buy you a ring as soon as the workday’s over — you just want to discuss his thoughts on making it “officially official.” But he won’t have it: every time your mouth formulates an “m,” the dude retreats like a hermit crab surrounded by pufferfish. If he can’t even have a mature discussion about marriage in general, ditch the boy who never grew up.

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3. He still flirts with lots of other women.

You notice Tyler sizing up the ladies every time you go out for a beer on Friday night. Or worse, he’s initiating flirtatious conversations in your presence, or even taking numbers in your absence. Any of these behaviors indicate that he’s afraid of letting go of his dating life. Leave him in the seedy bar where he belongs.

4. He always puts his friends before you.

If Tyler’s still reciting the “bros before hoes” mantra in your presence, you’ve got a problem. His world doesn’t need to revolve around yours, but you should be fairly high on his list of Important Things. If he’s consistently ditching you for his boys on Saturday nights after you’ve made plans, it’s time to follow suit and ditch him for someone else.

5. He won’t consider moving in with you.

You barely let one another out of your sights, but he still won’t sit down for a mere discussion about finding a place together — despite the fact that your stuff takes up half of his apartment, and his stuff takes up half of yours. He may be old-fashioned, or he may just want his own space, but if your gut tells you that his apprehension is relationship-related, take heed of your instincts.

6. He refuses to introduce you to his family.

You were super gung-ho about Tyler meeting your family at the beginning of your relationship, and he received nothing but glowing reviews from your folks at Thanksgiving. But whenever you ask about meeting his relatives, he always gives some weird, ridiculous excuse. His parents may have a problem with you, or he may just be scared to take that next step. But if you’ve been together for a long time and only know what his family looks like from Facebook photos, a larger conversation is necessary – as it likely is with all of the above signs that he’s not taking your interests seriously.

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